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Monday, November 10, 2003
By Steven Taylor

It was well documented that during the ReCAL, I often noted that Gray Davis was toast. Ended up, I was correct (ah, the smell of being right!—not that it was a hard call…). Earlier today, I concluded that John Kerry also resembles the famous breakfast bread in question (and a hat tip to the Eric (a.k.a., the Mad Swede) for being the first to so note (at least to my knowledge). Since James of OTB seems to like the analogy enough to state that Kerry should just quit, I figured I should create the Toastometer to rate the other candidates. Are they toast yet? How burned?

Ok, so we know that Kerry is toast—indeed, he is buttered and ready to slide out of the game (even if he doesn’t know it yet). How about the other Eight?

Dean: At this point, he has lots of bread, but isn’t toasty at all.

Gephardt: he is in the toaster, but the heat hasn’t been turned on yet. The recent Iowa numbers give him some solace, but the union endorsements of Dean lead one to believe that he will start to feel the heat soon. He is more or less dried out bread.

Lieberman: quite toasty and getting darker by the second.

Clark: not really toast, just playing one on TV. More like an over-baked muffin at this stage. (But he did decide to become bread back in September).

Edwards: badly burnt toast. He may think that he can scrape the burnt part off in the SC primary, but if such solace is to be, it shan’t be enough—this piece is burnt all the way through, and if he scrapes long enough will find that there isn’t any there there.

Kucinich: burnt toast with overly sweet syrup on it. (However, if we all get together and think about unburning the toast, no doubt that will make us all feel better).

Sharpton: burnt nut bread.

Braun: the crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.

Bob Graham: Doesn’t matter, he’s out of the race. But he did have toast for breakfast, and dutifully noted the fact in his journal.

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5 Responses to “Toastometer”

  1. OUTSIDE THE BELTWAY Says:

    TOAST-O-METER
    PoliBlog has activated it for this year’s class of Democratic wannabes. He rates all the candidates for the degree to which they resemble the breakfast…

  2. Matthew J. Stinson | weblog Says:

    Toasty good time
    Steven Taylor examines the degree of toastiness of each of the Democratic candidates. It’s all good, and reminds me a little of Gregg Easterbrook’s riff on Democratic candidate ice cream flavors. My favorite toast: Edwards: badly burnt toast. He may…

  3. OUTSIDE THE BELTWAY Says:

    PROGNOSTICATIONS
    Stephen Green looks back through his archives and discovers that he was off on most of his assessments of the Democratic nomination struggle. I’m too…

  4. Signifying Nothing Says:

    Lawrence gets results from OTB, VodkaPundit
    I don’t have a hokey website like perennial SN foil Larry Sabato, but I do make slightly better predictions than James Joyner and Stephen Green….

  5. PoliBlog ™: A Rough Draft of my Thoughts » The Return of the Toast-o-Meter! Says:

    [...] First, a brief intro to the T-o-M. The T-o-M had its origins in this post2 and my general predilection to due Gray Davis as “toast” (for example) during the recall elections back in 20033. The main goal is to roundup news and bloggage on the ongoing contests as well as to handicap and comment upon the races. In 2004 there was only the Democratic side to worry about, but the wide-open nature of the 2008 race requires two toasters, so this will be a challenge in terms of a weekly feature. [...]


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